I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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