You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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