I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
