so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
