I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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