Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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