well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
