I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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