i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
