Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
