question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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