Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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