He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
