Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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