That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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