I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
