i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
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