her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
