Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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