end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
