New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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