I wish I could punch you in the face.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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