PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
