Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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