He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
