Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
