i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
