fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
