So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
