I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize