So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
