just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just invented taco cereal.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
