You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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