is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize