so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
