some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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