When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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