Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
