Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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