somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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