thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
