STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
