At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize