Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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