i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
