We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
