remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
