i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
