The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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