He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
