i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Randomize
