Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize