I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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