shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
