its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
