This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So much Jack, so little girl.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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