she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
