So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dick very happy bro
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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