If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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