actually, I'm a sock model
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
