Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
