I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
