Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who put my cat in the fridge?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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