what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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