Actions speak louder than pants.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
