And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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