I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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