I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His hands were made for my vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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