Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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