11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Everything about him screamed your future.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize