sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
