New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
