I bet he comes in French.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
