So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i now understand why vodka
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
