i permit you to call me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
