So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
