We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
