We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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