If that was your dad, he is hot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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