maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fill condoms, not promises.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
