i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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