This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
