you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Every concussion has its silver lining
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
