So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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