You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
50% drunk capacity currently
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
