i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
