Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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