I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
