At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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