I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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